Wasted Day?

Woking at home as I do, with only myself to answer to, it should technically be straightforward if one of my children is ill, to look after them at home without all the hassle of taking leave from the "office".

The trouble is I'm a hard task master, especially when it comes to moving my creative projects forward. At the moment I've got a short story on the go, a new assignment to tackle for my correspondance course, plus I'm working on relaunching my website for my coaching business, which involves writing content and figuring out what layout I want. So when my four-year-old daughter was groggy this weekend I had to quickly re-order my plans for the day.

There's not much I can concentrate on with CBeebies twittering on in the background. We sit and read a book together, but after a while she gets restless and tired and wants the telly on. I catch up on some chores and decide that I'll have to try and squeeze in some work this evening just to feel like progress is being made.

During the day I've battled with my own impatience, frustration, and cross feelings, all the while reminding myself that this situation can't be helped, that I need to stay calm and gentle for the sake of my daughter's recovery. But there's such a feeling of guilt, caught in between sick daughter and compelling projects.

It's the kind of day that makes me strangely envious of the unexciting office job I used to do, which I never had any qualms whatsoever of abandoning for the sake of my sick children. Yes, there might have been a tricky conversation with my boss, but not much gets in the way of a mother's sense of duty to her children, and there's usually someone else who can step into the breach.

I guess the gift of the day is in appreciating how much I love what I do, because having to abandon it, even for the sake of a child with the sniffles, is extremely difficult. Does it sound as if sometimes I'd rather be working than spending time with my kids? Well of course I would! And other times there's nothing else I want to do but sit and laugh and play and sing with them. It's all about balance after all.